So, I wrote a silly little story. It’s porny, so be warned! I’ll put the dirty bits under a cut, hehe!
The Launch
John jogs up the stairs with a bag of one or two things they
were out of, and finds Sherlock watching telly, of all things. He stops, peering
at Sherlock. “Are you watching telly?” he asks incredulously, though it seems
quite obvious.
Normally Sherlock would roll his eyes and say something sarcastic,
but this time he just makes a humming sound of acquiescence, his eyes glued to
the screen.
He seems thoroughly distracted. John frowns and goes into
the kitchen to quickly unpack the groceries into the fridge and cupboards. “What
are you watching?” he tries, but Sherlock shushes him.
“Don’t talk,” he scolds.
All right, now he has to know. John goes back into the
sitting room and comes round behind Sherlock’s chair to see what he’s watching.
It’s the SpaceX rocket launch, or the prep for it, at any rate. John’s
confusion deepens. Were it anyone but Sherlock, the interest would be
self-explanatory, but this is a man who has deleted the solar system, so why he
would be suddenly interested in a rocket launch is anyone’s guess. Suddenly an
idea occurs to him. Or perhaps a suspicion would be a better word. John narrows
his eyes and peers over Sherlock’s shoulder into his lap, but Sherlock’s hands
are folded, blocking his view. “Sherlock. Are you – turned on by the rocket?”
he asks, trying without success to keep the incredulity from his voice.
Even in the blueish light of the telly screen, he can see
Sherlock’s cheeks immediately turn pink. “Shut up! Of course not!”
That confirms it. “You are!” John crows. “I always knew you had
a weakness for giant phalluses, plus look at all of those uniformed blokes
marching around, but I never connected it to this!”
Sherlock is redder than ever. “Shut up!”
he says again. “You’re – drowning out the commentary!”
With all this glorious Martin Freeman content flooding my dash, day in and day out, I couldn’t help but indulge in a little fantasy. I thought I might share my musings with you fine lot.
Warnings for RPF and gratuitous use of 2nd person, present tense. NSFW below the cut.
Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Sherlock (TV) Rating: Explicit Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson Additional Tags: Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Drunk Sex, Blow Jobs, Bets & Wagers Summary: John makes an ill-informed bet, and it just might be the best thing that’s ever happened to Sherlock.
Hey you. Yeah, you there, scrolling through tumblr. Do you like scorching hot porn? Yeah you do, you’re on this blue hellsite, you’re dirty af. Why don’t you just get right to it and click on this amazing new PWP by the incomparable smut queen @justacookieofacumberbatch. Embrace the beauty of drunken bets and filthy mouths being put to good use. You’re welcome, you damn sinners ♥
Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Sherlock (TV) Rating: Explicit Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson Additional Tags: Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Drunk Sex, Blow Jobs, Bets & Wagers Summary: John makes an ill-informed bet, and it just might be the best thing that’s ever happened to Sherlock.
Hey you. Yeah, you there, scrolling through tumblr. Do you like scorching hot porn? Yeah you do, you’re on this blue hellsite, you’re dirty af. Why don’t you just get right to it and click on this amazing new PWP by the incomparable smut queen @justacookieofacumberbatch. Embrace the beauty of drunken bets and filthy mouths being put to good use. You’re welcome, you damn sinners ♥
Mature is ‘and then they made love.’ Explicit is ‘and here’s how they did it exactly.’
To wit: mature.
He looked at the envelope, spread out before him.
God, he’d never been this hungry.
Could he be gentle enough? Slow enough? He didn’t want to damage it, didn’t want to do anything he’d regret… but no, no, it seemed the envelope wanted this as much as he did. It slipped into his hands, it folded as he asked. When it was time for more, the card was waiting, and he somehow knew exactly what to do. He moved with his correspondence in a dance as old as the mail system, and when it was over, he was smiling and the envelope was completely, thoroughly sealed.
Explicit:
The envelope waved its flap in the air slowly, gently, and he could see the faint shimmer of the adhesive traced along its fold. It was like a taunt, a dare: won’t you? And he would, oh, God, he would, lifting the envelope firmly to his lips, licking slowly at first, then faster, more firmly, tasting the envelope’s essence, the faint bitterness, the sweetness to follow—
Oh, he couldn’t help but smile at how it felt in his hands. It was so perfectly folded. Its paper was rough against his fingers, and its crossed folds shifted slightly as it opened for his eager tongue. Yes, yes…
Now the card, and his hand trembled as he lifted it, as he held the envelope, stretching it wide. Would it fit? Oh… oh, yes, it would fit, it slid in smooth and quick and filled the envelope to bursting, oh, made for each other, and he smiled in delight at how perfect it was.
He was ready. Now, now, now: with one swift movement he folded the flap over and he pressed, yes, he pressed the flap down and it stuck, God, it stuck perfectly, and he closed his eyes in bliss.
Afterwards, he stroked the envelope, and thought about addresses.
omg THIS MADE MY MORNING.
well, this is something I didn’t know i needed till I had it.
“and thought about addresses” oh my
I never thought I’d say this but it’s too early for this level of porn.
With all this glorious Martin Freeman content flooding my dash, day in and day out, I couldn’t help but indulge in a little fantasy. I thought I might share my musings with you fine lot.
Warnings for RPF and gratuitous use of 2nd person, present tense. NSFW below the cut.
Whatever you do, don’t imagine being on that dance floor. With him behind you, holding your hips, moving your body along with his. Don’t think about his hand traveling up you side, ghosting over your breast and wrapping around your throat. Don’t imagine the feel of hard cock against your ass, pressing between your cheeks, giving you just a hint of what could be. For the love of all that is holy, don’t think about his breath against your ear as he asks if you want to go someplace more quiet.
It won’t be quiet for long.
—
Turns out “someplace quiet” is Martin’s private car. It isn’t a limo, he’s not that pretentious, but it’s a sleek black affair with dark windows. His driver is leaning on the hood smoking a cigarette and Martin catches his eye, gives him a nod. The man flicks the butt to the ground and moves to get in.
Hand on your back, Martin guides you in and follows closely behind. You turn on the cool bench seat and he’s right there, hovering over you. He reaches out, fingers tracing from temple to jaw, they slip into your hair and cup the back of your head. He leans in. He smells like morning mist settled against the trunks of redwoods—cool and ethereal. Untouchable. Primal.
His nose skims up your neck, his lips tickle your ear. “My driver’s discreet,” he murmurs, “but I can put the separator up if you’d prefer.“
Something dark shivers through you, settles between your legs and throbs. You haven’t even kissed yet and you’ve never been this wet. You rake your nails down his back, press him against you. "Leave it down.”
Sherlock clears his throat and widens his stance. The Belstaff hides the evidence, as it were, and he feels the heavy weight between his legs with a uniquely curious awareness, as though he’d been caught nicking sweets and is now forced to empty his pockets in public.
(this was going to be SO MUCH LONGER but I cut out a lot of the actual plot. Actually… all of the plot. This is just the Johnlockstrade portion of what was going to be a full fic exploring a messy Sherstrade relationship. Maybe I’ll write it in full one day. But not right now. Too much going on right now.)
Sherlock slapped a hand over Greg’s mouth, stilling, much to Greg’s disappointment. “Door…” he whispered, eyes falling shut when Greg thrust upwards, gasping a bit. “Need to think… can’t think when you do that…” he hissed through his teeth.
“Seriously?” Greg was muffled by Sherlock’s palm. “You can hear the door while riding my cock but you can’t think?”
“Shut up…” Sherlock spat back, cocking his head to the side, face scrunching up before he drew back. “Speed of the step… weight of the footfall… it’s John… shit…” Sherlock’s hand fell away from Greg’s mouth as he dropped his head, avoiding eye contact.
Greg stayed quiet as he processed Sherlock’s drooping shoulders before he carefully shoved the man off him, biting back a groan and sitting up, slinging his legs over the side of the bed. “You haven’t told him anything,” Greg whispered, head jerking up when he heard the door to the flat swing open and Sherlock’s name in John’s voice. Without a second thought, Greg grabbed the back of Sherlock’s neck and steered him straight to the bathroom and turned on the shower.
“What are you…” Sherlock hissed before Greg shoved him into the bathtub and followed after, sucking in a breath at the cold water hitting his skin.
He leaned in and whispered into Sherlock’s ear, “I might not be at your level, Sherlock. But I am still decent at my job. I’m insulted that you’d think I couldn’t notice how stupidly in love with him you are.”
Sherlock pulled his head back, pushing wet hair from his face as he sucked his bottom lip in between his teeth to keep from shivering. He stared at Greg, searching for some sign of anger. He didn’t find any. Just a small smile before he was unceremoniously pushed back out of the shower just as there was a faint knock on the door.
“Sherlock?” came a small inquiring voice. Sherlock shot Greg a look before he grabbed a towel. He draped the towel over his waist, sucked in a breath and opened the door.
“John…” he replied, certain that Greg could probably hear the tremble to his lip before he pulled the towel tighter around his hips. “What brings you by?”
“I…” John shamelessly raked his eyes over Sherlock’s body before he closed them, shook his head and cleared his throat. “… um… I had to talk to you about… the other night… what is on your neck?” He squinted and took a step forward, while Sherlock took a step back, eyes widening a bit as he reached out to pulled the curtain closed before John could see Greg pressed against the tile. John gently took Sherlock by the chin, “Jesus, Sherlock were you taking a… cold…” He paused as each thought started to string together and he reached out and flung open the curtain and quickly averting his eyes. “Oh my god! Greg! What the hell!?”
“This isn’t…” Sherlock cut himself off and shook his head, sighing. “Okay… okay. This is exactly what it looks like but it’s a very long… complicated… story and John. Please don’t be angry… I was going to tell you…”
Sherlock frantic rambling was stopped short by a sudden burst of laughter that echoed off the walls, only to peter off into quiet giggles. Both John and Sherlock stared at the chuckling D.I. before Greg shook his head at both of them. “Well this has been fun, but I really should leave you two soulmates to it. John, turn your head.”
John averted his gaze again as Greg stepped out of the shower, running a hand through his hair before shaking his head from side to side. He offered Sherlock a nod and retreated back into the bedroom to gather his clothes. He’d been kidding himself after all, that much he knew and he didn’t second guess himself until he felt two strong arms wrap around his waist from behind and a sharp chin rest on his shoulder.
“Don’t do that,” Sherlock whispered in his ear, pleading. “I can’t just shrug you off, Greg. You were first.”
“Really think this is a good time to be having this conversation?” Greg whispered back. “And since when did you get sentimental?”
“We’ve already broke the rest of our rules, Greg…” Sherlock kissed his shoulder. “John doesn’t like it… well… I’ve survived that heartbreak before.”
Greg closed his eyes and pried Sherlock’s arms away from him so he could turn to look at the other man, leaning in and whispering. “You sure about this?”
And Sherlock didn’t answer, not verbally anyway. Instead he pressed his lips to Greg’s and kissed the other man in a way that warmed their chilled skin. Sherlock’s towel fell to the floor as he pulled his body close. Their damp bodies slid together and Greg shifted his gaze upwards to see that John had not left. In fact, John had moved closer, leaning against the doorjamb and seemingly unable to look away. Just at arm’s length. And that’s when Greg was struck with an idea.
With an impish glint in his eye, his right hand moved downward, tracing along the curve of Sherlock’s back as his left lightly pulled at the curls at the base of his neck. Sherlock’s lips slipped from the kiss when that first finger slipped inside him and his cheek smacked against Greg’s shoulder when the second and third joined it. Greg watched John’s break contact with his own to look downwards and watch as Sherlock rocked his hips backwards, fucking himself on Greg’s fingers. He reached down and grasped at the erection Greg still managed to keep, despite the quick cold shower from minutes before. John seemed startled from his gaze when Sherlock moaned – a dirty, wanton sound that made the next request sound positively filthy.
“Greg… please… fuck me…”
Greg shook his head and pulled Sherlock’s head back, causing the other man to practically growl.
“Say it louder. So our audience can properly hear you…”
“Fuck me…” Sherlock repeated, that primal state he’d been in before locking back into place as the wound tight detective seemed to unravel before them both, leaving behind a sex-hungry animal that Greg was quite familiar with, but John had obviously never witnessed.
With that, Greg withdrew his fingers and spun Sherlock around to face John, who still stood fixed on his spot in the doorway, eyes dark and breathing heavily through his nose. Greg took Sherlock’s hands and placed them on the door frame, before he looked John right in the eye and asked, point blank.
“What do you think, John? Should I fuck him?”
John shot a look at Sherlock’s panting face, lined up with his chest, his eyes distant and dilated. He licked his bottom lip and nodded once before he looked back up to Greg. “Yeah…” he agreed before clearing his throat. “Fuck him… I want to watch you fuck him.”
He bit at his lip at the sound of skin hitting skin when Greg slid back inside Sherlock. He reached out and ran a hand through Sherlock’s hair, still damp, droplets of water clinging to his hair. He swallowed a lump in his throat, straightened his back and pulled Sherlock’s head back so he could see his eyes.
“Do… you like when Greg fucks you, Sherlock?” he asked, his chest heaving slightly as he tried to draw in a deep breath. His heart hammered against his sternum and rattled his ribs when Sherlock’s head yanked downward as he attempted to nod.
“Yes…” he strangled out from behind a cry.
John shot a look at Greg, who smirked back, hands firmly on Sherlock’s hips. John shifted from one foot to another before he asked his next question, “How’s… it feel? His cock inside you?”
“So good,” Sherlock exhaled, his shoulders starting to sag from keeping himself braced against the doorway. “He feels so good, John… I… ah…” His head threatened to drop downwards as his entire body jerked as Greg hit that spot inside him. “Ah… god…” he panted, “Oh God, Greg… so good…”
John pulled Sherlock’s head back as far as it would go, pressing a fevered kiss to his lips that was cut short by his own discomfort. He dropped Sherlock’s hair and scrambled to undo his jeans and pushed them too his knees. There was already a wet spot from where his cock was leaking precome, and he shove his hand down his pants, drawing out erection as he started to stroke himself. He paused and pulled his hand away, licking his palm so it would glide easier along his shaft and took himself back in hand.
“Can…” he swallowed again, unable to keep himself from salivating. “Can I come on your face, Sherlock? Will you let me do that?”
Sherlock moaned and nodded, “Yes… John… yes.”
John took Sherlock by the hair again, focusing on his face – lips parted, that sinful voice moaning and gasping, both John and Greg’s names falling from his lips in a deep rich baritone that shouldn’t even be legal…
It didn’t take long. As John’s eyes darted from that gorgeous face, to the handsome man causing those looks of pleasure. As he craned his neck slightly to see Greg’s hard cock thrust into Sherlock, the way his fingers dug into the skin of Sherlock’s hips…
He couldn’t possibly last long.
With a shout, John came, decorating those sharp, picturesque cheekbones with thick streaks of ejaculate, moaning as he watched Sherlock’s tongue dart out and try to catch some, licking his lips. It all seemed to go still before Sherlock slumped forward, John just barely catching him, Greg needing to tighten his grip just to keep Sherlock upright as his knees gave way.
Two more thrusts, and Greg had joined them, coming inside Sherlock with a groan. All of three of them stood frozen for a moment before John was overcome by hysterical giggles. Sherlock clutched to his elbows and murmured into his sweater.
“What’s happened? Did we break him?”
Greg smiled as he started to pull Sherlock up and steer him to the bed, carefully letting him collapse against it and curl up, obviously exhausted. “Shh.. He’s fine. I think he just processed what happened…”
“Idiot…” Sherlock grumbled as Greg swiped the come from his face with his shirt.
“Just get some sleep. I’ll talk to him…”
Sherlock’s eyes were already closed and he was already dozing as John’s giggles started to subside. He looked at the two of them and shook his head as he started to pull up his pants and trousers.
“Sorry… sorry… I just. That was… God, I’ve never done that before. I should have just left.”
“No. I’m glad you didn’t,” Greg remarked as he stood up and headed into the bathroom to clean himself up with a damp flannel. “He’s in love with you, John.”
“Kind of hard to believe… since he’s apparently been fucking you…”
“Hey now,” Greg offered a smile, “Don’t say it like that…” He sighed as he clutched the sink and stared at himself in the mirror. “He and I… we had a simple arrangement… that got complicated along the way. I’ll tell you more about it later…” He turned his head to face John and added a smile. “But you go in there and you take a look at him… then tell me you’re willing to walk away from him.”
John went silent, shifting back on the heel of his foot to steal a look at the sleeping man in the next room. He clenched his left fist before he nodded firmly.
“Tell me about the arrangement…” he began and nodded a few times. “And let’s figure out how I can fit into it.”
Any chance of johnlockstrade? Because that’s pretty awesome, too, if i may say. ��
@bakingsherlycakes – I love Johnlockstrade! I am not very good at writing Johnlockstrade. But I’m all about Johnlockstrade!
I find it hard to believe you’re not good at writing anything @coloringthegreyscale! But i would read the heck out of some loving johnlockstrade. I want everyone to get some love and sweet feelings and, of course, sexy times! 😁 I am also loving your Sholtolock barge so keep on sailing!!
However, of the OT3s, I am the most familiar and far more comfortable with writing Joltolock. I just love Sherlock getting loved by his two soldier boyfriends. /shameless plug 😉
I wrote a bit of johnlockstrade a couple months ago, it’s a/b/o DP with Sherlock as omega, basically PWP but with a little bit of feelings. But I haven’t posted it because I wasn’t sure anyone would want to read it…
(So. I am sitting here browsing through my own writing, because I’m an egotistical asshole like that and it helps me with whatever I’m currently writing. I know I made a post similar to this before, but it didn’t have part 6 or 7 on it (I don’t think? Maybe it was only missing part 7…) and I don’t really feel like trying to find it at this particular moment. So I’m going to make a new one.
Hello, friends. If you’ve never read Sherlock Holmes Has Two Soldier Boyfriends, let I, the writer, give you a handy guide to navigate through all the Joltolock porn. Because I want to. I’m feeling generous. And I’ve been sick all day.
(The reference makes sense when you think about it long enough)
Part One – And They Work Well Together The General Gist: Sherlock Holmes goes to Afghanistan for a case. He meets John and James for the first time and the sentiment of sparks flying is by far an understatement. What You’re Getting: An alternate meeting with blow jobs, Sherlock passing out after coming, and then waking up for more sex. Also, the first time Sherlock gets the edge of a Henley shirt stuffed in his mouth. Additional Notes: This was supposed to be the only part. I thought I’d be done with it after this. Boy was I wrong. Favorite Line:
He would not hear from them for another five years, when they both came back into his life, both scarred and crippled from getting too close to death. Sherlock didn’t even notice.
(did I mention there would be feelings? Because there’s feelings.)
Part Two – And They Missed Him The General Gist: John and James made a promise to one another to find Sherlock Holmes if they ever get back to London. Five years after meeting in Afghanistan, they’re all reunited.
What You’re Getting: John and James returning to take care of Sherlock, whatever that entails, which ends with Sherlock 69ing with John while James takes him from behind in what I think is the shortest installment of the series. Additional Notes: There’s also a shower scene, but it’s not what you think! Favorite Line: “Can’t…” he squinted and struggled against the overwhelming urge to simply lay there, bury his nose in John’s skin and ride it out as James fucked him from behind while John sucked his cock, muttering their names in a delirious mantra as the sounds of skin against skin and slurping the filled the room with a sinful melody that coaxed Sherlock into a sex addled trance.
(which is a doozey of a run-on sentence and I’d be sorry about it except I’m not)
Sherlock has his moods depending on how a case goes, so of course John and James know exactly how to take care of him.
What You’re Getting: Two instances where John and James taking their turns calming Sherlock down when he gets himself worked up – whether it’s in a good or bad way. Sometimes it’s by fucking him in the lap of the other. Sometimes it’s tag-team rimming. I dunno. Whatever works, right? Additional Notes: There’s plot at the end! Some actual plot! Favorite Line:
“Fuck my image,” Sherlock whispered. “I’d be lost without my soldiers…”
(that’s… pretty much the entire story right there.)
While Sherlock is in a strop, John and James are forced to explain themselves and their relationship to inquiring minds – all the while rediscovering what brought them together to begin with.
What You’re Getting: John and James explaining their triad to the likes of Molly, Sally, and Anderson while Sherlock is busy feeling sorry for himself. There’s also John topping James. Don’t say I never gave you anything. Additional Notes: I thinkthis is actually the least popular part of the series, but I find it immensely important. If not for the important poly conversations, then at least for sassy James. Favorite Line: “Explain to me how you two can understand the concept of a love triangle built solely on secrets and deceit, but the idea that three people can enter a relationship with one another by remaining honest with one another is such a foreign thought?”
(because I honestly really want to understand this)
John and James miss Sherlock. So they go the extra mile to get him back.
What You’re Getting: John and James dressing up in military fatigues and bringing out the horny needy bottom in Sherlock while they make him talk dirty. There’s also face fucking. And a mirror. Additional Notes: Sherlock comes twice in rather rapid succession, but honestly, can you blame the man? Also, there’s more feelings and a much needed conversation. Favorite Line:
“My vulgar darling,” James whispered, “Did you come in your pants from just getting your mouth fucked?” (also known as Bree’s favorite line she has ever written in anything ever)
What You’re Getting: Seriously. Everyone gets jealous. Sherlock’s bad and needs punished. With bathroom sex. And the Henley gets stuffed in Sherlock’s mouth again. Because, like… I just had to. Additional Notes: Sherlock has a little bit of a humiliation/praise kink. It makes sense in my head. Also, John is absolutely filthy in this. And yet… they both care for him so much. Favorite Line:
“I will fuck you so hard that everyone at the Yard will notice you limping and I will make sure James will do the same. It won’t take a mind like yours to figure out just how you like it. But that’s what you want, isn’t it? The great Sherlock Holmes… consulting detective… and personal whore for Captain John Watson and Major James Sholto. Is that right?” (I mean… he’s not wrong.)
After a long stretch with nothing, Sherlock wants just about everything. And John and James are happy to give him just that.
What You’re Getting: A lot. You’re getting a lot. We’re talking lingerie, sex toys, double penetration, sex tapes, dirty talk, rope bondage, voyeurism, Sherlock using his deductive powers for sex… it’s pretty much all in here. Additional Notes: This is 21,180 words stretched across three chapters of pretty much pure smut with a slight emphasis on aftercare as John and James try to navigate Sherlock through his feelings. Also, James sings. Favorite Quotes: Chapter One: “You, Sherlock, are a devoted, brilliant, enthusiastic and gorgeous lover. No matter how much you enjoy the attention we give you – it is always matched by how much John and I enjoy giving it to you. Do you understand?”
Chapter Two:
He was at their mercy, filled to the brim, stretched out, used and in absolute ruin – just as requested. And as he struggled, with ragged breaths, laid out raw between them, their lips brought a soft comfort from the overwhelming pleasure that threatened to eviscerate him.
Chapter Three:
“Whatever did or did not start in Afghanistan between James and I and whether you were involved in that – that doesn’t change a damn thing. We are here. With you. We tracked you down after five god damn years – and it wasn’t because of James and I being in a relationship and it wasn’t for the sex – it’s because we wanted you.”
And that’s it! That’s TSB summed up thus far!
I heartily encourage any other fanfic writers with ongoing (or completed) series to make their own guide! 🙂
iamjohnlocked4life 